“What the hell is this?” I say to Jenny. “It’s Christmas in July” she says back to me. Apparently the Hallmark Channel puts on some insane thing where it’s a bunch of shows from Christmas. Jenny puts on the channel for background noise as she does the bills. I don’t watch much tv, Netflix, or anything really aside from Yellowstone and hockey so this Hallmark thing is just perverse to me. Of course me being me when Jenny is watching these shows I’ll sit there and pay attention. I’ll ask why is this or that happening and why is she so obsessed with that? And then Jenny tells me to go play video games or read a book. 

But Christmas in July has been stuck in my head for weeks. I sit there and think to myself: Christmas... in July. But why? Is there a Fourth of July in January? A Halloween in April? Maybe there’s a St. Patrick’s Day in September. It’s all some great mystery to me. It’s become an obsession just like how Lacey Chabert can’t mind her own damn business.

*Note: I try to write these as if I were speaking to you. I like to do them this way, because I can flow in and out of my Passaic mannerisms since I consider other forms of speaking lacking.

Jenny and I are glad we got to travel during the winter especially since who knows when we will be able to do so again. The world is fucked. Back in March when we originally planned on reopening for the year we had a series of flavors meant to highlight our travels. Now that we’ve been open for a bit, we can finally do some of those flavors. Expect to be transported to Vienna, Milan, Sardinia, Madrid, and Andalusia.

VIENNA

I used to go to Austria as a child to visit family friends, but that was way on the other side of the country. So I’ve never been to Vienna until this year, and I hope to go back plenty of times in the future. It was such an easy and clean city. The subway ran frequently, it was easy to ride a bike around, and there are so many museums and various things going on. The quality of life there seems to be a lot better than most major cities in America especially the ones I’ve lived in like New York, Washington D.C., San Francisco, and Los Angeles. In terms of the food I’m big on Austrian/German food. I grew up on it and my first internship out of culinary school was at Wallsé in New York. Eating schnitzel, Sacher, linzer, wurst, and kraut are as normal to me as burgers and fries. Eating a pile of broiled pork knuckles feels like home. So I was totally in heaven there; plus a few food stalls stayed open until 4am. Chocolate Raspberry Gelato is the flavor we are making to take us back to Vienna. Sacher torte is usually with apricot, but there’s a few versions with raspberry and that’s more my speed. If you haven’t been to Austria, for sure go even if you don’t like skiing. The standards are high, the land beautiful, they’re heavy into music, and most people have wit.

Vienna

Mamoiada

SARDINIA

“I want to go to a place that’s kicked and screamed and said ‘fuck you’ to even the most brutal of people.” And so we went to Sardinia. I can’t describe to you the smell upon arriving in Cagliari. It smelled just like my family home island in the Philippines. It was this mix of island salt air, musk, and burning wood. I looked at Jenny and said, “I’m home.” I’d be ignorant to say I’m not a romantic. I love history and sometimes I go to places and imagine the weight of geological and human time. Sardinia is a Mediterranean island that’s currently part of Italy. Back in the day they were their own thing, then some Carthaginians came, Romans, Vandals, Romans again, Spaniards, and so on and so on. The beautiful thing about the island aside from its coast and interior was that to me it felt like it was all those things and still apart. Still autonomous at least in spirit. You could stand on the south coast, west coast, and east coast, and you felt that there was always going to be some new asshole coming along, but thats fine— Sardinia will always be. The highlight of our time there was being in Mamoiada for their carnival-type celebration where some of the men wear wooden masks and go from one fire to the other and enact a ritual. Things like this and supporting remote tribal people around the world are to me the key to the future. A time before the marching of soldiers and zealots imposed abstractions on the human spirit. People there, whether during special rituals or the mundane every day, were so “whatever”. They didn’t give a shit who you were and only one day a year did they wear masks as opposed to how some cultures do so on a daily basis. In some places I’ve traveled the dreams of the society and people and actual everyday action aren’t that far off. Places like Sardinia and Finnish Sápmi Lapland are those. The food was amazing whether it be pasta, desserts, fruits, and seafood. Food there was a contrast to here. There everything is pretty good so it is and isn’t a big deal. Here there’s some good food, but nothing amazing so as a result everything is always talked up your ass like some avocado toast . I hope to go back to Sardinia one day preferably when it’s warm. The flavor highlighting our zig zagging of Sardinia is what I call Tunisian Almond. The flavor profile is a common thing about the Mediterranean world, but it tastes like my time in Sardinia especially the interior. It holds the spirit of the sweet and rough island.

Sardinian coast

A proper pizza. One of the most beautiful and simplistic things man has managed to conjure.

MILAN

In Milan we basically only ate pizza and drank espresso. Well, that’s not true; we had a lot of risotto and giant hunks of veal. But we ate one giant pizza a day each and drank generous amounts of espresso. Aside from that we hit up some museums and just hung around on the streets. Milan gets a lot of shit, but I enjoyed my time there. It always had a buzz going on and you walk around and feel like a millionaire even though you ain’t shit. I can’t make a pizza flavor because that would be disgusting, but I have a few things in mind. One, of course, being a special espresso flavor. The kind to get you wired throughout the day.

MADRID

Madrid is another city people talk bad about though I enjoyed it too. I was curious to see where the assholes that invaded and colonized my family’s home island came from and I was impressed at its smallness. I don’t just mean in terms of size but vibe. It didn’t feel like a massive place where you’d get overwhelmed. We ate a lot of canned seafood and suckling pig. I drank a lot of beer as well maybe occasionally getting lost and just sitting in a plaza watching people go by. Oh, and I ate churros and drank hot chocolate every single day. This place was open 24 hours! The flavor highlighting Madrid is our Torrone Gelato. It had to be that since there was a damn torrone store every other block.

ANDALUSIA

Before going to Spain, Andalusia was my image of the country. Maybe it was always on postcards and movies, and so that is what I assumed. It kind of reminded me of some urban parts of the Philippines in that the streets were narrow and the smell of exhaust was always present. But despite that the energy was prime. Seville is a gem of a city, and Cordoba was quaint. In both towns you can zig zag through streets and end upon a plaza where everyone is hanging and drinking beer cheaper than water. We hit up a few old relics of the Moorish past and ate a lot and frequently. The food was mostly what I expected which means it was good. A flavor to highlight our time there is tricky. It has to feel exotic but also familiar and bright. Definitely something with saffron.

Si.

Córdoba.

HOME

I always thought of our business as another way to travel. I’ve been going here and there since I was a child and have lived abroad. I was very fortunate and inherited this culture from my mother who managed to travel even with very little money. The world is too crazy and interesting not to go around. At the same time, I’m a Jersey boy— there is no doubt about that. So managing those two things means I’m pretty critical of our country. But I don’t mean that in a negative way. It’s like when you’ve been doing something your whole life one way, and then you meet someone else like an Italian or Algerian dude and they show you another way that’s easier and more fun. You can make better use of your time hanging with family or making your life and the others around you better. It’s far too common for Americans to put their heads to the ground or into their devices and go through the motions the media and society tell them. Ultimately it isn’t necessary to travel to improve our society, but since we inherently lack the ability to look at the wider picture with a critical lens traveling and interacting is like a shortcut. The hard way would be to invest in the creative abilities of our people nurtured in an environment that is going to support them. That is not happening.

Here in New Jersey and New York especially you commute via bus or train into your jobs, and how many times are they late? In Austria or Finland that would be a public shame. Even in Italy the god damn trains run on time. Italy! Plus America has that weird thing where we all think the people in power and in the media are assholes, yet we are shocked when there’s a scandal proving this. Meanwhile since I was a kid I’ve known Italians or Cameroonians who knew this as a daily fact and their society revolved around avoiding those assholes as much as possible, because all they do is divide us. Society can function outside these motherfuckers. I’m not saying to dismiss it all and do nothing, but we are currently lost in a malaise. Our society is stagnant and I have to say again that society isn’t the politicians, the media, and what we post on social media. Our society is something constantly moving and what we offer to our family, friends, neighbors, and to the world. A flag or brand merely represent society, and they aren’t it. If I made gelato like how our society is currently functioning, then the chocolate would look like Hersheys and cost $8 for a cup of dogshit. I’d sprinkle pretzels, relish, and kimchi onto it and beg everyone to like our post on instagram. Chocolate should either taste better than the chocolate from 5 years ago, or taste just as good. We want this country to be around for another 100 years I assume, but it’s crumbling both physically and mentally. Once this coronavirus bullshit has stabilized I hope everyone can go and travel. And not in that typical tourist manner where you take some pics and eat shitty food. Gather ideas, meet cool people, meet stupid people, get drunk and laze around on a corner with some strangers, learn to curse in Finnish or Arabic, learn how others organize their society for the wider benefit, how they are able to make well-made roads, and take a god damn train that runs on time. Then bring all these experiences and ideas home, and let’s make our society better. I’m so god damn sick of going somewhere and they have it better. We’re fucking Americans; we are supposed to be the best. This is New Jersey. We think everyone else in other states are a bunch of assholes. It’s not good enough to say those things. It has to become reality. A new paradigm. This is my feeling everyday when I walk into the store and crank out the gelato. So I hope this week you can enjoy the few random flavors from our travels.

It usually takes me about 1.5-2 weeks to get into the gelato making mode. This is because I change my whole frame of mind during the “offseason”. I do a lot of changing of diet, meal times, sleeping times, and quiet time. During offseason I read a book, garden or clean something, practice meditation, go to hockey games, read another book, ride my bike, play some video games, play “football practice” with the dog, check up on my parents in Passaic, and play pranks on Jenny. 

I’ve had to start the engine to only shut it off several times. We were ripe and ready to open at the end of March. I began the week before mentally and physically preparing. A breakfast of snickers and an apple switched to flax toast with almond butter, yogurt, and a handful of raspberries. And instead of sleeping at 3am, after many rounds of Modern Warfare, and waking up at 9am I was adapting to being up by 6am. I was getting to dog back into regiment. Those 1-2 weeks are preseason. Well, that all went crashing down.

So now its May and we hope to be open by the end of the month. How we will reopen I’ll post about soon either here or on social media. It will be minimal, only takeout, and only for a couple of days a week then expand from there. We will focus on the standards, APEM standards of course not like any other whoever place, with a few specials week to week. Although feel free to throw out some suggestions for flavor and if I fancy any I may give it a go. 

There’s a lot of shit going on that’s more important than just our very very young store. I worry about the future for our towns, and have sympathy for those who have suffered and lost loved ones. 

Thinking of you all, stay safe, and if you see me riding a bike around holler.

Alex 

Winter Break. 

I hope everyone’s hibernation has been going well. Jenny and I are just about to head to Spain for a bit. We were in Italy and Austria a few weeks back and had a great time. Our winter break is a little bit of travel, relaxation, maintenance, and reading. 

The island of Sardinia was a real treat. We drove from coast to coast and from the marshes to the hills. Some of the beaches, at this time of the year, are so empty that I’d imagine myself as being back at a time before even the Carthaginians. The food need not be mentioned except that it was refreshing beyond an American mind. The people are very personable, the small towns full of life, and the kids spent drastically less time on phones. 

Truth be told, I get somewhat melancholy when visiting parts of Europe and Asia. I see how the trains run on time, social alienation is less severe, and there’s a greater respect for beautiful things whether natural or man made. Like, you can tell it personally touches them or it’s theirs. Americans haven’t really been here that long and many but not all see everything through a consumerist lens. And our lives are constantly sucked into lens, because for most of our history that’s all we’ve ever done. As a group, we are lost on the land we inhabit. We just don’t speak about our country as a belonging and rather a possession. Of course, when I travel I meet plenty of morons and assholes. I’m not saying other places are perfect, but our roots haven’t dug in yet. I’m more jealous of their mindset than anything. Sometimes I think of when I was in California, and maybe I was the outsider. But my time there was transformative and if anything I cared more about the land there than here in New Jersey. I grew up in Passaic, and it was shit. We tossed our trash everywhere because we just assumed we were shit, so who cares. At some point I thought “why am I trashing my own town,” but the sentiment of I don’t give a shit was always there. Maybe in towns like Bloomfield and Montclair it’s different, but I can remember a time when Montclair wasn’t so hot either. 

Reading is important to overcome the melancholy. And I strongly encourage everyone to continue to read. It helped me a lot growing up along with music. Reading can transport you to different opinions, ideas, and even worlds. There’s a lot of pressure on us to perform and act a certain way, and reading and eventually writing helps us to explore. I like to think I’m a cheerful pessimist, and I think humans are mostly neurotic and scared sacs of biological matter except that we are gifted that weird thing we call consciousness. We may never be able to do anything good for the natural world, and at minimum we may be the only living things with the ability to admire and get drunk off the ecstasy of the natural world. Our imagination is boundless, but always richer when planted in the world. Today instead we look to barren dead planets as a place to live where we would be stuck in cages because the air is poisonous. When was the last time you sat listening to the wind and trees? 

So we are off to Spain and specifically Andalusia. I’ve always wanted to see the Moorish architecture and to see the Mediterranean from that part of the world. We plan to see a few palaces and cathedrals, but aside from that just to soak in the place and maybe meet cool people. Maybe stare at a Picasso for a bit. When we get back in March, we will start getting the store ready to reopen. After a few paint touch ups, cleaning, and an additional AC unit we should be ready to rock. I’m thinking of doing stuff with citrus at the tail end of the season and tropical fruits. 

Lastly, this was a weak winter with little snow and mostly just cold. 

Stay warm,

Alex 

Vienna, Austria

Mamoiada, Sardinia

Sardinia, Mediterranean.

Black on black on black

Cagliari, Sardinia

Welcome to the new decade. Jenny and I have been quiet lately due to the holidays and really just catching up on sleep and playing video games. 

I’ll assume everyone had a great holiday and hopefully no one was sick. I’ve been to the store a few times while closed just to do random things and honestly I have an inch to make gelato. But I’m also excited to travel and maybe I’ll find some cool ingredients. 

I have nothing inspirational to say about 2020 or the new decade. Same shit another number. No matter the date I just hope when our store is open people are enjoying themselves.  

See you soon and stay warm. 

Alex 

I’m a Jersey boy and that means life is about warm fluffy cornbread. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. You feel me?

This is a flavor I’ve been trying to get to, but with some things customers have been asking for or ingredients just ready to go it wasn’t possible. I love many types of food from all over the world, but I sure do love classic Jersey things from summer tomatoes picked at dusk, peaches, blueberries, to cranberries and mmmhmm, cornbread. So dip by this week to try a few variations with butter, maple syrup, peppers, and blueberries. Embrace the Jersey.

Alex 07055.

“My rhymes is like droppin your head on cement”

Here we go.

Maybe you’ve walked into the store once or many times. Everything is pretty minimal no? There are a lot of reasons for that and one is I’m a Jersey guy and less is more. I like volume and slanging it out no bullshit. 

My role models are places like Rutt’s Hut, White Manna or even any good slice place. You walk in, order your thing and you’re free to hang and eat your stuff. Boom boom bam. Today is nuts. I want something that’s well made by someone who knows what they are doing and focuses on classics either repeated or touched up for today.  

Maybe I’m just old school and grew up in the 90s when the world was totally different. America stood atop a mountain looking down and a simple dessert like soufflé’ or apple pie was soul satisfying. Today people don’t even know who they are. I do. I’m a Passaic motherfucker who loves making gelato.   

“Life is a blast when you know what you're doin' Best to know what you're doin' 'fore your life get ruined

Life is a thrill when your skill is developed

If you ain't got a skill or trade, then shut the hell up” - At the Helm by Hieroglyphics

Why? Because they can’t teach you the most important parts: suffering and heart. Of course there are technical aspects of making the stuff that you can learn at a school, but there are cheaper and more life fulfilling ways to learn. I went to a culinary school which I regret mostly, and I luckily never went to some bullshit ice cream or gelato school.

Making gelato and ice cream, or even things like sushi and pizza, are not things to be learned in a classroom by some egghead. It is something to be transferred whether passed down through family or something like an apprenticeship where you start off as a sucker. This is because suffering and heart are the most important things. It either has to come deep from within or you are broken and rebuilt several times over. Then you go off and become your own man assuming you also possess higher standards and an imagination. If not, then no matter what you are screwed.

This could be said of the food industry as a whole but I’m reluctant to say so since currently there’s a big shift into making everything as packaged and sterile as possible. Everything is a pursuit for prettier social media pics. The economy is currently based on thin air. It’s insane. Plenty of shit thrives today. It’s sad.

Luckily, this is still a nasty business and I hope it remains so for a while. That’s also a plus since many people these days are so outraged and weakened over the smallest things that they’ll quit sooner than later and get out of the way. I believe in kindness in the streets and in the home, but in my kitchen it’s war and hell. The only salvation is seeing your smiles.