Christmas in July?

“What the hell is this?” I say to Jenny. “It’s Christmas in July” she says back to me. Apparently the Hallmark Channel puts on some insane thing where it’s a bunch of shows from Christmas. Jenny puts on the channel for background noise as she does the bills. I don’t watch much tv, Netflix, or anything really aside from Yellowstone and hockey so this Hallmark thing is just perverse to me. Of course me being me when Jenny is watching these shows I’ll sit there and pay attention. I’ll ask why is this or that happening and why is she so obsessed with that? And then Jenny tells me to go play video games or read a book. 

But Christmas in July has been stuck in my head for weeks. I sit there and think to myself: Christmas... in July. But why? Is there a Fourth of July in January? A Halloween in April? Maybe there’s a St. Patrick’s Day in September. It’s all some great mystery to me. It’s become an obsession just like how Lacey Chabert can’t mind her own damn business.