Jenny & Alex's Asianisms
We were just sitting around having a laugh. Some people can relate and some have no clue. But for us this is being Asian in America in a joking manner.
Asian means outworking the competition. If the guy next to you is working hard then you go harder. If you don’t know how to do it you better learn fast. You can rest when you are dead.
Asian is going to piano lessons because your parents think it’s gonna make you smarter somehow. It doesn’t. But it’s great thing to learn.
When people ask if you have a big family and you lose count.
Asian is riding your bikes as a kid and doing jumps or taking sharp turns over and over again until you hit it perfectly every time. Then when you are older you take your car out to a quiet backroad and take each curve or hard turn until you hit it perfectly every time. Technical perfection is the greatest high.
Asian is watching your family die laughing at comedy movies where all they do is goofy faces.
Bruce Lee was a hero to every Asian kid growing up no matter which country of origin.
Asian is saving 70% of your income. And paying cash most of the time. Anyone else’s family ever have a random tv in the attic filled with cash?
Asian is being able to drink jet fuel but 2 bud lights have you falling on the floor.
Gold. It’s the best color followed by green.
When MSG is in a salt shaker at the dining table you know you’re Asian. Yo pass some of it for the wings will you?
String beans aren’t legit unless they’re like 3 feet long.
Asian is driving a white car with dark tinted windows while wearing sleeves, gloves, and visors that cover the face. And going to the ocean fully clothed with a layer of sunblock thicker than cement.
Hondashi in spaghetti sauce? That’s right. Or maybe some curry.
Bad rice is a fucking disgrace. Speaking of rice sometimes dinner is just rice and nori. Maybe with a side of kimchi.
Fatty Crab was the greatest restaurant in New York for a time.
Asian is when your parents get old and they try to guilt you into doing the smallest things. Jewish people can relate I believe.
Asian is when your parents have this one random obscure medicine that can cure anything. Basically Robutussin. Take that Tussin!
Plastic on top of the couch and over the tv remote.
When you come back from Asia and drive around and forgot that the lines on the road and the stop lights aren’t suggestive.
Everyone has that one aunt that can really get under your skin.
When you are the only people who can squat with their heels touching the ground.
When you know someone who has gotten hit by a scooter.
You may or may not have been the street fighter champion in the tri state area.
Asian is when your parents comment on your tan but you are as pale as a piece of paper.
You have a toothpick holder in the cup holder of your Toyota.
When people tell you this one place has really good ramen and it’s just soy sauce broth.
There’s Boba and there’s really good Boba.
Asian is hanging grapefruit off your car as you drive through red lights.
When people think you are passive but you can go from Buddha to Genghis faster than crypto losing half its value.
The dishwasher is for clean dishes only.
Pics below: Me being dumb in Chinatown. My crew and I rolling to the seafood shack. Some of the best sushi we’ve had. Some loser in a mask. Jenny’s bowl cut. One of my favorite people in California, Al, who was famous for diving for abalone and working on apple farms like his Japanese American ancestors did for generations. My cousin Randy and I getting ready to bust out with some Filipino dance moves.
