Barcelona and Valencia

Give me an ideal city and this is what I’d come up with: A dense broad shouldered city with deep history, pride, passion, its own language, great food, an even better culture of drinking and dancing, art and architecture so uniquely its own that people don’t know what the fuck to think, where you don’t need a car to do everything you want, along a coast, and you can wear shorts ninety percent of the god damn year. Well no shit huh that’s Barcelona. Am I absolutely gaga over the city? Not totally, it’s maybe a little too orderly for me and over touristed. Yeah I’m a tourist, but who the fuck actually wants to see other tourists? But Barcelona is highly recommended and has something for everyone. Eight days in Barcelona and three in Valencia wasn’t enough time to get to know the elan vital of the places, well maybe in Valencia’s case it was, but I feel that we got to know them personality wise.

I should mention my own style of traveling. Maybe you don’t really care, but people travel for so many different reason I don’t want you to assume we are the same. It is okay if you are nothing like me. I think the best word for myself is that I am a Culturist. I love seeing the overall human experience with all it’s creativity, uniqueness, and suffering. And sometimes the best parts of traveling are experiencing things outside the human realm. Ultimately traveling isn’t enough because you need to spend time in each place. The world has gotten more expensive, violent, and restrictive so that isn’t easy. Long gone are the days of my old San Francisco landlady renting a truck and driving through Afghanistan with her group of feminists. So traveling these days are short escapes that allow me to explore a culture but also dig deeper into my own psyche. I didn’t know this until my early-20s, but coming home I always felt as if I left a part of myself elsewhere. I definitely feel like that with Barcelona. Sometimes you leave something and come back with others, possibly unwanted things. Unfortunately, I did come back with something perhaps depressing in one manner, but in the long run possibly enriching. It is up to me to choose on the outcome.

From the get go I should lay down a few things that were consistent or typical as far as I saw. Everyone under fifty years old seems to love eating kebab wraps, really they’re like gyros except have the cultural pervasiveness of burritos. Espresso is about half the price of the New York City Tristate Area and is essentially the same, that is 75% of espresso have that standard or basic persona and the really good stuff needs to be searched out. The beer can be embarrassingly cheap, and people easily start drinking it at 10am. A lot of people smoke, but it didn’t seem as bad as Paris. People in Barcelona walk rather fast compared to the rest of Europe and maybe even as fast at New Yorkers. And apparently nobody has clothes dryers in Barcelona unless you are rich.

Food, that is why one comes to Barcelona right? Sure there’s Picasso and Gaudi, but food is undeniable here. It has something for everyone from the penny pinching college kid, overly Spoiled Upper Class Twats (SUCT), fresh faced foodies, vacuous social media influencers, to regular schmucks and industry people like us. You can go high or low. You can even go abstractly ridiculous. I highly recommend finding a traditional Catalonian restaurant and eating anything with blood sausage, the face of an animal, or chickpeas.

We had clear objectives in Barcelona in regards to food. One was to put closure to my time in the food industry. Personally I’ve been living multiple lives with one being the food or gelato guy. It will always be part of me, but for me to move from one thing to the next I have to say okay it is over, so to speak. And being in Barcelona enabled me to put some of that in its place. When Jenny and I were in culinary school molecular gastronomy was at its peak. I’ll never forget being in Level 3 and some kid bringing in one of the El Bulli books. It was fucking massive and full of shit that looked like ancient Phoenician, what the fuck was that. But I searched this guy Ferran and was blown away. I couldn’t believe you could do this shit with food. It was theater and art. At some point I read an article about him talking about his creative efforts and ultimately concluding he had to create his own language or world. I had a lot of respect for that even though I wasn’t entirely interesting in molecular gastronomy outside of concepts of trying to get the most out of an ingredient. One can speak negatively of a genre of art, but a master’s power is undeniable. You can hate the game, but only a fool denies respect. After culinary school I was an empty pocketed 20 something and looked for my own path that eventually led me to gelato. The best Jenny and I could do was to go to Alinea in Chicago and it was mostly theater. The hot dog I had the following day was art. Catalonia was out of reach.

Now we had more means and time we decided to go to Disfrutar and Enigma in Barcelona. The whole molecular gastronomy era was absorbed into the mainstream so maybe where we were going was more museum than restaurant. That is okay of course. Disfrutar was opened by two people who met at El Bulli back in the day and Enigma was opened by Albert Adria, the brother of Ferran. Albert isn’t just the brother but was part of El Bulli back in the day. I even have his book Natura from during El Bulli.

The first thing I need to say about both of these restaurants is that the service is far and above anything in America and other parts of Europe. Yes, I’m looking at you Paris and Vienna. Chalk it up to the natural personality of Spaniards, but every single service staff in both places were at the top of their game. This was from friendliness, formality, movement, and personality. Shit some of them had the best skin I’ve ever seen on a human being. Funny enough during one of our meals I thought of the polar opposite: a rude and chaotic Chinese restaurant but equally masterful food. So was the food good? I’d give you a five second long blank stare and say: yes and no. It is creative, executed masterfully as I just said, and performed with the pacing of a philharmonic. But there’s one thing I felt they were lacking though it is something easily forgivable: because there is a lot of contorting of ingredients and because ultimately they are conforming to those spoiled upper class twats it tastes like a broken story like a book that just went into another direction out of the blue. We were here, there, and now where? I’m not sure. And this type of dining is completely dependent on the story unless of course you are a SUCT who needs to check off a box to compete with others. Like the New Jersey Devils this season I feel they are playing down to those lesser and people like Jenny, me, and hopefully you are dismissed. Cuisine can be so beautiful. It truly is art and that something I am determined to reveal in my book. But it doesn't and shouldn't be the sole domain of the wealthy. It's a lack of imagination and societal organization (not economics) that prevents really amazing food being available to regular people. At the same time the food industry along with many things today are flat. There isn’t much pizzazz in today’s world. But that is natural for being in the downward swing of a curve. Eventually things will tick back up. I know enough of history to know this is true. It just sucks that we all have to live through it, some have it a lot worse. To all those who have a creative impulse towards food, art, music, writing, nature, and beauty in general I encourage you to hone yourselves. Practice, refine, discover, taste, smell, and question. Go out there and stick your neck out. It is okay to look like a jackass. When the world comes alive again it will need a billion little burning heads of desire to make it beautiful. And I mean something deeply beautiful like a hundred thousand salmon rushing up a river or waves during a hurricane. It is hard being human. Our brains are too big and we can’t seem to not make things more complicated than they need to be. It doesn't help that the wider society is relentlessly bombarding us with content that ultimately is a distraction. There has to be a level of refusal in order to be free. Everything we do to be creative is to glorify that breath we take for granted.

Well I’ve kind of blown out the tires with all that. There’s plenty to see in Barcelona aside from food. Sagrada Familia is worth the money, just make sure to book your time ahead and don’t just walk up to it like us. It is more art installation than actual church. And speaking of art is the Picasso and Catalan art museum a must? Well, if you don’t care about art or don’t understand Picasso then why bother. At the Catalan art museum you can see all kinds of art from the Inquisition to the Spanish Civil War. If anything, it is worth absorbing as a whole to see the Catalonian experience.

Valencia was a whole other ball game. We came during their Fallas festival which celebrates the changing from winter to spring. And we had no idea this was going on. The city is loud and crowded, pure chaos. People are blowing firecrackers at all times even with some of those being more explosives than toys. At 2pm everyday it feels as if the city is under attack. And I just came for the fucking paella. We had it everyday there from typical to with squid ink. A black smile is a true smile.

I wouldn’t recommend going to Valencia during this time unless Fallas is your goal. And probably avoid summer when the Brits and Germans descend like locusts. But at some point we will return to Valencia to truly enjoy its many plazas. I want to enjoy my paella without bursting an ear drum. That being said I did get rather buzzed and enjoyed moving from one plaza party to another until past midnight.

In conclusion, if you are in Barcelona go to the tapas bar, kick sand at the beach, if you have the means go lick what looks like LSD off a white chocolate leaf, laugh at Picasso’s pottery, and take a moment with closed eyes in a church even if you aren’t religious. Art, food, genres of architecture, and great weather it has something for you. It is worth going just watch your pockets and don’t forget to get a kebab wrap.

Here are our recommendations:

*Note: Make sure you enjoy your time. Don’t take shit so seriously.

Ca l’Estevet: for Catalonian cuisine

Bar Canete: for fancy tapas

Mercat de Santa Caterina: for a food market and tapas

Bar Pimentel: for casual tapas

Bodega del Vermut: for tapas and Vermut (became our regular spot to enjoy the day and talk shit)

Los Tortillez: for tapas

Restaurante Futami: for sushi (yes you read that right, it’s really good)

Bismillah Kebabish: for some kebab

DeLaCrem: gelato (probably the better gelato I’ve had in years, not too sweet)

Disfrutar: high end splurge meal (make sure to enjoy yourself)

Enigma: high end splurge meal (the music in the bathroom was so psychotic)

Sagrada Familia: probably cooler than the place you worship at

Parc de la Ciutadella: to vibe off the people practicing drawing or painting and to enjoy the sun and plants

Barceloneta Beach: don’t think of it as a beach, think a park to hang at while dipping your toes into Lacus Romanus. Or fuck it just dive in the water was very refreshing.

Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya: for various art and views of the city

Park Guell: Gaudi designed park with views of the city